[Projector clicking]
ROSALIND RUSSELL: So long, Walter.
CARY GRANT: So long, Hildy.
RUSSELL: Better luck to you next time.
GRANT: Thanks.
- Oh, Hildy... - Eh?
Uh...
Well, you kinda took the wind out of my sails.
Look, honey, I just wanna wish you everything I couldn't give you.
RUSSELL: Thank you, Walter.
GRANT: This other fellow, uh...
well, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to see him.
I'm more or less particular about whom my wife marries.
- [Russell chuckles] - Where is he?
Oh, he's right on the job, waiting for me out there.
Ah. Do you mind if I meet him?
Oh, no, Walter. It wouldn't do any good, really.
Oh, now you're not afraid, are you?
- Afraid? Of course not! - Well, then, come on!
Let's see this paragon!
Is he as good as you say?
Why, he's better!
Well, then what does he want with you?
[Laughing] Oh, now you got me.
GRANT: Back in a half, Mildred.
Ooh... Oh, I am sorry, Hildy.
- I suppose Bruce, uh... what's his name? - Baldwin.
Baldwin... I suppose he opens doors for you.
He does, and when he's with a lady, he takes his hat off.
Oh, I am sorry.
And when he walks with a lady, he waits for her.
Oh, well, in that case...
Allow me.
Well, I can see right away my wife picked out...
the right husband for herself. How do you do, sir?
There must be some mistake. I'm already married.
Already married? Tsk, tsk, tsk...
Oh, Hildy, you should have told me.
[? "Santa Maria" by The Frames]
MAN: ? Let me off this boat ?
? I'm sick of this ride ?
? The world is heading ever southward ?
? And I can't stay in here ?
? And you're lying awake, away on your side ?
? The feeling comes in waves ?
? And burns us and I don't wanna die ?
? From the slippery hands ?
? To the line of your throat ?
? The fever now consumes us both ?
? In a fire now we will go ?
? Santa Maria ?
? Why did you have to go? ?
? Santa Maria ?
? One day we will know ?
? In a bowing of heads and a passing of hands ?
? And all we thought they'd understand ?
? Is lost and they won't know ?
? And what have we left ?
? When it's all that we've got ?
? There is no "X" to mark our spot ?
? What's past is done and gone ?
? Santa Maria ?
? Why did you have to burn? ?
? Santa Maria ?
? One day you will learn ?
[Music ends]
[Children shouting]
[Loud rap music playing in car]
[Tires squeal, engine revs...]
Hey, Kincaid.
Shouldn't you be workin' some freeway?
Pickin' up litter, you convict?
Ass.
[Engine revs loudly, tires squeal]
[Rap music thumps loudly]
TEENAGE BO Y: Let's get him!
[School bell rings]
TEENAGE BO Y: Kincaid, get back here!
TEENAGE BO Y 2: Yeah, you better run!
You're dead, Kincaid.
MAN: Hey, slow down! No running!
That was totally wicked.
- Are you nuts? - What?
Messin' with Brett Raven and his pukes?
Do you wanna spend the entire Christmas break in a body cast?
They act like we don't even matter.
MURPHY: We don't matter.
CAMERON: Yeah, get out of here.
MURPHY: No, I'm serious.
Remember that movie, The Fisher King?
- Terry Gilliam, cool director. - Money!
All right, well, Jeff Bridges quotes what "Neitski" says...
"Neetski."
O.K., uh, the expendable masses?
The people that don't matter to the rest of the world.
That's us. We don't matter.
The botched and the bungled?
Right. We don't matter, dude.
[School bell rings]
TEACHER: I know you guys would rather be someplace else...
but we got one more test before I let you go.
[Students groan]
Knock it off. Hats off!
TEENAGE BO Y ON P. A: Attention, fellow students...
TEACHER: Knock it off, Brett.
The faculty and staff want to wish you all the happiest of holidays.
There's just a couple of items that will take place...
over the holiday vacation.
There's a Ski Club trip to Mammoth Lakes...
the basketball tournament at Taft High School...
and, of course, the Los Angeles Film School...
holiday short film contest...
with the winner receiving a full scholarship after graduation.
Uh, students involved with these projects...
stay in touch with your respective counselors.
That's it, students.
Have a great and safe holiday break...
and we'll see you back here in three weeks.
- [Applause and whoops] - STUDENT: Yeah!
TEACHER: Question number one. Let's get to it.
We're not leaving until it's all done.
[Toilet flushes]
[Metal thuds]
I'd sue your ass for scratching my ride, Kincaid.
But I know you're a broke dick.
You know what? Forget about the film contest.
Two reasons: one, juniors never win.
And two, you can't make a movie without a little fundage.
It's a talent contest, not a funding contest.
Like my dad says...
"It doesn't take talent to get work in Hollywood."
No wonder why he always has a job.
[Metal thuds]
You may know a lot about old movies...
but you know nothing about making one.
Merry Christmas, Kincaid.
Call the lot, get my dad on the phone.
He'll hook us up.
MAN: Hurry up, Cameron.
You already missed the big crane shot.
You can pay me after.
- Thanks, Mr. Klein. - O.K.
MAN ON SCREEN: You figure it was a bomb then, Hank?
ORSON WELLES: Well, chief, Rudy Linnekar...
could have been struck by lightning.
Where's the daughter?
MAN: Marcia? Got her right here waiting for you, Hank.
WELLES: Let her go.
MAN: You don't even want to question her...
Take the marbles out of your mouth, Orson!
How do you expect people to understand your fat ass?
WELLES: in a monkey suit?
You too, you got one of them...
MAN: Well, we were all at the banquet.
OLD MAN: Aah!
Excuse me, sir, but could you keep it down?
A few of us actually wanna enjoy this film.
OLD MAN: Hey! Shut up!
Good-for-nothin' goldbricker.
If you had a job, you wouldn't be here.
I'll have you know my husband teaches...
The Virtue of Cinematic Morals and Economics at C.S.U.N.
Cinematic morals? Now, there's an oxymoron.
How'd you get that job? Win it in a raffle?
- I created it. - That can't be true.
You're buyin' your own bullshit.
You seem to be out of touch, dear man.
Out of touch? Hey, look, professor.
I've made more movies than you've been to.
So why don't you just shut your Cinematic Morals hole...
and maybe let fat Orson here teach you something?
MAN ON SCREEN: Of course, we're all of us going to cooperate.
You won't have any trouble with me.
You bet your sweet life I won't.
MAN: O.K., folks.
We're going again.
And lights!
[Switch clicks]
[Whooshing]
Roll sound!
- MAN 2: We have speed. - MAN 1: Roll camera!
MAN 3: Turning.
MAN 4: Scene 27, take 4. Marker.
And action!
ACTOR: And that's what you know about Rosebud?
Cut! Cut! God damn it!
Who flashed that arc light? Murray!
- I'll take care of this, sir. - [Welles grunts in anger]
- Security. - Go.
You flashed that light on purpose, you incompetent fool.
It was a faulty arc, Mr. Welles.
You're all incompetent! You're all trying to sabotage my film!
Mr. Welles, why would I wanna do that?
Citizen Kane is gonna be a great film.
Murray.
MURRAY: Escort this man off the set.
I would never do something like that on purpose!
I love my job! Why would I try to lose it?
If you love your job, you'll never work a day in your life.
Winston Churchill!
Wait, Wait. Bring him back!
Churchill... Well, bravo!
An electrician who can actually read!
What a pleasant surprise. Well played.
What's your name?
Glenn Madden.
Glenn Madden? [Laughs]
No, I don't think so.
From now on, your name will be "Flash" Madden.
You'll go further, trust me.
CHARLTON HESTON: You gonna do something about it?
WELLES: Well, make it a charge.
Isn't that police procedure in Mexico?
- Procedure? - You say your wife was attacked.
I did not say she was attacked.
- Did you say she was molested? - Not physically.
Charlton Heston playin' a Mexican.
Jesus Christ, give me a friggin' break.
- I don't think so. - How do you explain the fact...
You never could act in pants, Chuckles!
WELLES: Joe Grandi. That's right.
Go on.
Pony Express was the first film he ever wore pants in.
Before that, he was in all those Roman epics.
You know, wearin' those fag robes?
[Chuckling]
MAN ON SCREEN: Mr. Vargas is not on the witness stand.
[Chuckling]
MAN IN FILM: Hank's a born lawyer, you know.
He was pretty good in Ben-Hur. I'll give him that.
[Flash sighs]
Thank God you shot this in black and white.
CAMERON: [Chuckles]
Great.
Another monument to the next generation.
When a murderer's loose, I'm supposed to...
[Film stops]
Hello?
Earth to Beverly!
[Shouting] Is anyone home?
God damn it!
What minimum-wage moron's in charge today?
What the hell's going on in here?
An imbecile convention?
Get off your brains and do something.
PROJECTIONIST: Oh shit!
Gimme that friggin' thing.
Oh, my God! My Game Boy!
I'm sure that Santa will bring you a new one.
I'm sorry, everybody!
[Electrical snaps, buzzing]
[Fire extinguisher hisses]
My God, is everybody all right?!
FLASH: Keep hiring the handicapped, Klein.
They're such fun to watch. I want my goddamn money back.
You never pay anyway, Flash.
[Shouting] Why should I, with service like this?
Get out of my way, you little shit!
PROJECTIONIST: He sure yells a lot.
Is he hearing-impaired?
No, he just likes to yell!
[Traffic passing]
[Whooshing]
MAN: ? As far as I know ?
? They go ?
? 'Cause it's never quite ?
? What it seems ?
? You know ?
? But you don't ?
? 'Cause you dropped yourself to your knees ?
? It dawned on me ?
? See, if it were me ?
? I'd agree ?
? That it pays to be ?
? More like you ?
? Would you know ?
? And you show ?
? 'Cause you dropped yourself to your knees ?
? It dawned on me ?
[Whooshing]
? Ahh... ?
? Oh... ?
? Oh... ah... ?
? Ah... ?
? Ooh-ooh ?
[Music ends]
[Whoosh, car engine revs loudly]
CAMERON: Double headlights.
Red and white.
Big fins, lots of chrome.
- Is it her? - It's her. [Sniffs]
Are you sure it's Christine?
Dude, 1958 Plymouth Fury, just like the one in the movie.
[Engine revs...]
[Whooshing]
John Carpenter.
Cool director.
BOTH: Money!
MURPHY: Bad to the bone.
? B-bad to the bone ?
? B-b-b-b-bad ?
- CAMERON: Shut the light off. - MURPHY: Would you chill, man?
[Car door opens]
- MURPHY: Go go go go go! - CAMERON: Shhh.
[Horn honks]
- Come on, come on, come on. - CAMERON: Shut up!
I think I see someone, I think I see someone.
MURPHY: Go.
[Electric sizzle, engine roars]
[Tires squeal, car revs]
MAN: My, my, my!
[Engine hums...]
[Laughing and whooping]
Go Christine! Do your nasty, girl!
Be a bad girl, yeah!
CAMERON: Yee-ha!
[Engine humming...]
I feel like Han Solo in the Millennium Falcon.
Can I be Chewbacca?
You can be Chewy, if you want.
[lmitates Chewy's growl]
Tell me that was not Chewy!
That was Chewy... What?
That was the worst Chewy I've ever heard in my life.
That was a good Chewy!
[Both imitate Chewy]
Whatever.
[Police siren wails]
Shit, 5-0.
CAMERON: "5-0", O.K., there, Snoop Dogg.
[Siren continues]
It's not so bad, only one.
[Siren whoops, horn blares]
Don't be harshing my mellow, po-pos!
It's not bad.
Dude, relax, dude. It's fine.
[More police sirens wail]
CAMERON: Shit.
OFFICER: Pull the vehicle over!
Now it's bad.
OFFICER: Pull over! Now!
- Pull over, dude. - OFFICER: Do it!
[Sirens wail...]
OFFICER: Let's see your hands! Get your hands up!
All right, shut off the engine. Hands up!
[Police radio squawks...]
[Door thuds loudly]
So you're boosting cars now. What's next? Banks?
That's pretty funny, Floyd.
Listen, you're through screwing up, buddy boy.
[Whooshing]
Cameron, they took your license.
They took it six months ago, Mom.
And the principal said that you're cutting classes again.
Where are you going during the day?
Teachers don't give a shit.
Well, we're serious this time, Cameron.
We're not bailing you out again.
Yeah, we'll see how you smile...
after ten days in County with the big boys.
Oh, you oughta know.
[Whooshing]
FLO YD: It's not working! This! This, this...
JUD Y: What? This? FLO YD: This, the kid, okay?
The kid!
JUD Y: Well, the kid comes with me.
- I think you understood that... - FLO YD: Well, I don't know him.
[argument continues indistinctly]
FLO YD: Maybe I'm just not a father, O. K?
Maybe I'm just not a father type.
JUD Y: Why didn't you tell me that before?
That's not what I heard before...
FLO YD: O.K., because maybe I wanted to make it work.
- Maybe I wanted something. - So do I.
FLO YD: O.K., well, it's just not working, all right?
- JUD Y: Why isn't it? - Because... look at the kid.
He's not even going to school, for Christ's sake!
I gotta... We gotta go down and bail him...
We gotta bail him out of jail at this time of day...
I gotta go to work! And what...
JUD Y: He's been through a lot, you know? O. K? You know.
FLO YD: O.K. I know he's been through a lot.
I don't wanna talk about his father, O. K?
JUD Y: Oh, I see.
We're not supposed to talk about stuff now!
FLO YD: O.K., what, you wanna talk about it?!
Why don't you go find him, bring him back...
you guys can live a happy marriage, a happy family life...
JUD Y, CRYING: Damn it! Don't say that!
FLO YD: I'm trying to give it to you... I can't give it to you!
[Argument continues indistinctly]
[Lawn mower buzzes...]
NURSE: Oh, no, you don't!
There's no smoking for you, Flash.
That's the doctor's orders.
Come on, give an old man a break!
NURSE: No way.
[Cameron whistles] Hey...
Hey. Come here.
[Turns mower off]
Que quieres?
[Lawn mower buzzes]
Nice day, huh?
[Flash spits]
So, um... [Turns mower off]
you like movies?
FLASH: Huh?
You like movies?
Yeah, some of them.
CAMERON: Uh, you wanna make one?
Who's directing?
You're lookin' right at him.
Bugger off and mow the grass, kid.
It's a... It's completely legit.
It's, um... It's a high school film.
It's a student film, and, um...
it's about... It's, uh...
Well, we start prep tomorrow, and we start shooting next week.
Who's "we"?
Me and my friend...
my friend Murphy, and it would...
and you, if you're in.
Hmm.
High school, huh? Sounds like bullshit.
Well, it's...
[Flash sighs]
I could really use your help, you know?
Hey, get out of here and leave me alone...
you good-for-nothing little prick.
Well, I saw you at the Beverly Cinema and...
you seem to know a lot about movies.
Get away, I said!
Maybe you're bullshit.
- Me, bullshit? - Yeah.
Look, you little weasel...
I've made more movies than you've been to.
Yeah, I heard that one.
[Mutters]
Yo, Murph, what's doin'?
Makin' $6.75 an hour, that's what's doin'.
Ah... this movie's so dope!
Witness?
Peter Weir, cool director.
BOTH: Money!
- How's your film coming? - It's coming.
Yeah, check this out.
[Sighs]
Brett Raven is already in production.
CAMERON: Are you kidding me?
MURPHY: His old man dropped 20 grand for his film.
He's going full-tilt for that scholarship.
CAMERON: They must really want him out of the house.
This is serious shit. Is that... That's a Panaflex!
MURPHY: Yeah, mmm-hmm.
Just thought you'd like to know what you're up against.
But I gotta go.
- Thanks. - Later.
Better get humpin' on that film idea, man.
CAMERON: Yeah, I'm humpin', I'm humpin'.
[Whooshing]
[Whispers] Aahh...
I told you no!
Leave me alone.
Cuban?
- Think so. - Oh, no, no, no.
There ain't no "think so" when it comes to Cubans.
Cohiba or Romeo and Juliet.
Damn Montecristos are damn overrated.
O.K., then Montecristos are out.
But aren't Cuban cigars illegal in this country?
I consider it burning their crops.
Give it to me.
Nah, it's not Cuban.
Ah, it'll do.
So, uh, will you help me out?
Forget it, you little punk.
CAMERON: Just give me a shot.
It would be like casting pearls before swine.
CAMERON: I don't know what that means.
Look, you're on your own, kid. Get out of here.
Thanks for the cigar.
[Plane flies overhead]
[Birds chirping]
Is there a history of mental illness in your family?
Does a crazy aunt in Provo, Utah, count?
You'll keep bringing me cigars?
O.K.
And a bottle of Wild Turkey thrown in every week.
O.K.
- Then we have a deal? - We have a deal.
The name's Flash Madden.
Cameron Kincaid.
How'd you get a name like Flash?
It's none of your goddamned business!
It's a skateboard film.
CAMERON: He's awesome.
Freakin' idiot.
SKATER: Oh!
No more idiot. What else you got?
I have another idea about a guy who, um...
he makes a motorcycle from vacuum cleaner parts...
and he meets a girl.
You need a writer...
badly.
I'll fix the script up later during filming and editing.
Look, kid, you can't polish a turd.
I know a writer, a good one.
- What about a crew? - A crew?
Well, they're closer than you think. You see that geezer over there?
Hey, Richie, how you doin' today?
Hey, not bad, Flash. Same old, same old.
That's Richard Butler.
He won the Oscar for art direction on Gigi.
No way.
Yeah, he sold it fifteen years ago for seven grand...
[Coughs] to pay his nursing home bills.
Now he lives here with us, the dearly almost departed.
You can sell an Oscar?
Everything's for sale, kid.
It's either need or greed.
Meet me tomorrow at the bus stop, 9 A.M.
Hey, leave me alone now.
Don't touch me!
I'm fine.
You still gonna help me out?
9 A.M.
What's your writer friend's name?
Mickey Hopkins.
Where's the kid? Out screwing around again?
He's in his room working on his computer.
Probably some internet scam.
No. Cameron's really focused.
Yeah, that is the word.
He's focused on something these days.
Yeah, right.
So we got dessert?
[Sighs]
Holy shit, this guy's a legend.
[Dogs barking and whining]
[Clicking and hissing]
[Can clatters]
You pricks!
[Tires screech]
CAMERON: Mickey is amazing.
I looked up his credits online last night and...
Well, Roman Holiday. Jesus.
Now, you see that building over there?
Used to be Charlie Chaplin's studio...
when he was running United Artists...
with Mary Pickford back in '23.
Wow.
Yes, may I help you?
Hey, Mickey... it's Flash.
Huh?
Flash...
You know, Flash Madden.
Flash Madden?
Oh, my God. How wonderful!
Well, come in, Flash.
Please make yourself at home.
Flash, it's been a hundred years since I saw you last.
Two hundred.
[Laughs]
[Helicopter flies by]
FLASH: That's a good idea, Mickey.
It's colder than a well digger's rear in here.
[Flies buzzing]
Yeah, y... You should turn up the heat.
Yeah, I will.
FLASH: Uh...
the kid here is, uh...
He's about to make a movie.
It's a student film.
He asked me to help him. I mean, what the hell?
But when I heard his idea, I knew he needed a writer.
Really?
Yeah.
You know, it's that, uh...
"if it ain't on the page, it ain't on the stage"...
[Chuckles] kind of thing.
I know exactly what you mean.
We had a similar problem.
First of all, there are no problems...
only solutions.
We had a similar situation on The Outlaw.
Howard Hughes could not figure out how to end it.
Wait, here you go. Here, I'll get it.
- Thank you, dear boy. - Ah, no problem at all.
Yeah, just bring it over here to the table.
[Mickey chuckling]
MICKEY, PANTING: Yeah, uh, well... Uh...
I'll just get the paper in and, uh...
we'll... we'll get started on a brief outline.
[Paper crinkling]
FLASH: Hey, kid...
give us a minute, will you?
Yeah, sure, Flash. I'll, um...
I'll go for a walk outside.
Stay away from room twelve.
MAN: ? What's wrong ?
? With my nation? ?
? Can only call it mine... ?
It's been thirty-five years...
[Emotional] Thirty-five years since someone asked me to write.
FLASH: Can you believe it?
I don't think I can do it.
FLASH: No, huh?
Well, I'm sorry, Mickey. I thought you might get...
a kick out of this kid.
I mean, who else in this town...
is gonna give a couple old farts like us a job?
[Tearfully] I'm sorry, Flash.
It's too long.
I've lost the gift.
Ah, we never lose our gifts...
only the opportunity to open them.
That's pretty eloquent for a gaffer.
Even us juicers have our moments, huh?
Hey... pal.
Don't worry.
Think about it for a few days, huh?
Take your time.
We'll get back to you.
"We'll get back to you."
[Chuckles] That's the last thing...
I heard Louis B. Mayer say to me in '57.
[Laughs]
But we're not M.G.M. We'll be back.
? No redemption in sight ?
? No, not to the right ?
? So wrong ?
? Swinging further right ?
? So long ?
? Innocence o' mine ?
? And how long before... ?
Doesn't Mickey have any family?
He's got a daughter in New Hampshire, I think.
Then how can she let him live like that?
Well, I doubt if she knows. Out of sight, out of mind.
I never knew places like that existed.
Well, now you know.
This country's famous for shitting on their elderly.
God help you if you don't have family.
Why can't he live where you live?
It's nice there.
I don't think he was in a union that provides for it.
I'm lucky.
It's the only good thing Hollywood ever did for me.
America's all about the young, the beautiful, "the winner!"
You know, kid, in Europe, Asia, and especially Africa...
the elderly are truly respected...
and they're almost treasured by the... by the young people.
Not here though, oh, no. Oh, no.
We live in a throwaway society.
If it breaks, throw it away.
If a new one pops up, throw the old one away.
If your puppy grows up to be a pain-in-the-ass dog...
dump it. Someone will kill it.
Your marriage isn't working? Hey, divorce...
throw it away, marry someone else.
You get sick of them? Throw them away too.
BUS DRIVER: Sherman Way.
That's what my dad did to my mom.
She's different now.
So then he's an asshole, right?
Yeah, probably.
Yeah, you're better off without him.
Eh, the world's upside down.
But, hey, kid, don't worry.
Nobody else does.
Be happy, you're young!
You got the world by the short hairs.
Not me, I'm a nobody.
Yeah? Says who?
My friend Murphy.
He says, he says guys like me don't even matter.
The botched and the bungled...
something that "Niatchsky" said.
Nietzsche, you stupid, ignorant fart.
"It's not the strength...
"but the duration of great sentiments...
"that makes great men."
- What? - Nietzsche said that too.
But what do you know about Nietzsche?
What do you know about anything? You're a kid.
No, I, I meant...
Nietzsche was full of shit most of the time.
Tolstoy says that Nietzsche was stupid...
and, uh, abnormal...
and so is your friend Murphy.
Yeah, well, you got the abnormal part right.
I'd keep an eye on him.
Oh, not to change the subject...
from Nietzsche and the great Murphy...
but, um... how you doin' on my Cubans?
Just what the doctor didn't order.
Well, bless you, child.
Call you later, Flash.
Hey, hey, don't be so down in the dumps.
We're gonna make this movie, right? Got it?
Got it. Tomorrow?
Make it tomorrow night. I want to show you something.
- O.K. - Hey, hey, I didn't hear you.
I'm old, damn it.
I got it!
All right. [Chuckles]
[Helicopter flies overhead]
CAMERON: "Pennsylvania Department of Health...
"receiving complaints regarding nursing homes...
"and long-term care.
"The halls reek of urine.
"Old people lie helpless in their beds hour after hour...
"their soiled diapers unchanged.
"These were the sights and smells...
"at a nursing home in Huntington Beach."
Somebody's been smoking again.
It's a new cologne...
Eau de Cohiba.
WOMAN: Hmm...
breaking the rules... again?
That just makes me so horny.
Yeah, you're always horny.
[Woman laughs]
That's not such a bad thing, now, is it?
Well... [mumbling]
Just the thought of you two bumpin' uglies messes me up.
Come on, Mildred.
You've got plenty of other men to tease.
Teasing's not such a bad thing, now, is it?
[Laughs] No, honey, it's not.
Flash, you got a phone call back in the lobby.
Some kid.
Hello?
Hey, Flash, it's Cameron. How you doing?
Uh, women keep throwing themselves at me.
Thank God for Viagra.
Uh... so I called because I changed my mind about the film.
You what? Uh... [Chuckles]
- Now listen to me, kid. - I don't want to do...
that motorcycle/vacuum salesman thing anymore.
FLASH: Well, wait a minute.
You can't do this, kid.
I mean... what about my Cubans and the Wild Turkey and...
Come on! Now, don't give up on this movie!
No, Flash, I just gave up on the motorcycle idea...
not the actual film.
Well, what the hell are we gonna shoot?
I want to do a docudrama about...
about those crap places like where Mickey lives.
Well, what do you mean?
Hold on.
"In 2005, in L.A. County...
"91% of the nursing homes had violations."
You're some surprise, kid, and no one surprises me no more.
I want to get with Mickey again...
because we could, we could still use his help.
Go easy on that. I'm not sure that he's ready.
FLASH: We'll talk about it first.
We need him. All right, um...
are we still on for tomorrow night?
Yeah.
O.K., I'll meet you at the bus stop at seven.
Yeah, well, you make it eight... and you be there!
O.K., eight.
[Hangs up phone]
- Hello? - [Dial tone]
Flash?
[Phone beeps]
[Crickets chirp]
[Crying]
[Sobbing]
Hey, Mickey.
MICKEY: Hello, kid. Uh... where's Flash?
Well, he's...
I really need your help, Mickey.
I... I'm no good to you, son.
It's too far gone.
No, listen, can... Can you just hear me out?
Can I, can I come in for a minute?
Yeah... of course.
Flash said you'd be back.
Hey, Cameron...
pick up one of them boxes.
No, no, the bigger one.
You called me Cameron.
It's your name, isn't it?
ANNOUNCER ON TV: Wells at the line for his second shot.
It's up... no good!
Kicked out back, rebounded there, pass outlet...
MAN: Pass the ball!
Ah, that ain't no foul!
That ain't no foul! Thank God it's Shaq.
Hey, whoa, ho. Hey, whoa, hey.
Expendables, Stage 10. The kid's with me.
MAN: You got I. D?
No problemo.
What's the score?
Lakers by two, double overtime.
Bingo, Shaq just missed another free throw!
Some things never change.
Haven't seen you before. You new?
I'm anything but new...
meaning I'm old. Get it?
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
Hey, Stage 10, right around the corner.
FLASH: Merry Christmas.
MAN: Yeah, Merry Christmas to you too.
? Ooh ?
? Lonely, lonely, lonely ?
? I'm waiting for you... ?
? Ooh ?
? Lonely, lonely, lonely ?
CAMERON: Where's Stage 10?
FLASH: We're not going to Stage 10.
Come on.
[Clears throat]
Lose the box.
CAMERON: How hot do the lights get?
FLASH: Hot.
Are these c-stands? I love c-stands!
So can we actually come back and grab some of this stuff?
[Flash grunts]
CAMERON: This place is actually pretty creepy.
Seems like the kind of place that would be haunted.
[Flash grunts]
What would happen if we got caught in here?
FLASH: Uh... well, it's been a long time...
but I'm sure it's still here.
What's still here?
Hmm...
FLASH: They must have sealed it off.
CAMERON: Well, then we should probably head back then, right?
FLASH: Not likely.
[Door thumps]
[Door creaks]
It's, it's still here.
[Talking to himself]
[Wood clatters]
[Wings flap]
CAMERON: Is this, like, breaking and entering?
FLASH: Yeah, who broke in? The door just opened.
FLASH: Oh, shit.
Where's the goddamn fuse box?
How'd you do that?
I'm a gaffer, for Christ's sake.
Oh, right.
Well, this is it.
This is our room, the crew's room.
Yeah, used to be the old prop room.
We cleaned it up and, uh, made it our own.
This is so cool.
How is it still here?
Uh, the present management doesn't know about this room.
Never did.
Thank god. They'd turn it into a Starbucks.
CAMERON: Yeah, right.
So this place was like a clubhouse?
FLASH: Yeah, sort of.
But it was a tough club to get into.
No above-the-line wankers, that's for sure.
Above the line?
Eh, producers, directors, writers, actors, those creeps.
So you know all these people?
Most of them. A lot of them are dead.
Uh, but these are my friends.
Hey, that's me with the crew of, uh, Citizen Kane.
You worked on Citizen Kane?
Yeah... the skinny guy in the middle.
CAMERON: So amazing. Is Orson Welles there?
These are crew-only photos, for Christ's sake.
Oh, so no directors, no wankers?
Right.
I always wanted to be a wanker... director.
A director, huh? The man in the chair, huh?
I guess.
You guess?
The man in the chair can't ever be a guesser.
He's gotta make decisions.
You know, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
He's gotta know what he's doing.
Frank Capra says, "If you're half right, you'll be a genius."
Frank Capra, cool director. Money!
Hello? [Mutters]
CAMERON: Did you ever direct a movie?
Yeah, I got close to it a couple of times...
but it wasn't exactly my cup of, uh, tea... if you get my drift.
Oh, you had a little booze, drinking problem...
thing, problem?
Oh, yeah, I had my... [Chuckles]
fair share of, mmm, missed opportunities.
Flash?
Yeah, kid.
You're the only one who can help me out with this.
And I want to know everything there is to know.
Teach me how to make movies...
how to watch them... everything.
It means that much to you, huh?
To be the man in the chair?
Yeah, it does... everything.
Will you be willing to pay the price?
Cigars and Wild Turkey?
No, no, no. Well, yeah, yeah, of cour...
[Sharply] No.
I mean, the real price.
CAMERON: What's that?
A promise... to me...
that if you ever make it, you won't crap on people...
like Mickey and the others...
like these fine folks.
And that you'll never forget how and who...
got you to the chair.
Can you make that promise?
Sure, Flash.
Now we're talking Technicolor.
Well, it'll actually probably be 24p digital video.
Yeah, whatever.
- You know all these people? - Yeah, most of them.
Do you have a star?
The only thing in the ground with my name on it...
will be a gravestone.
Why? You made some great movies.
Oh, come on. You gotta be famous, adored.
- I'm neither. - [Bell ringing]
You should get a star just for helping out me and Murphy.
Hey, remember this. The glitter ends at La Brea.
What does that mean?
You see the glitter that the city puts in the pavement...
- where the stars are, huh? - Yeah?
Well, look, it ends at La Brea.
No stars, no glitter.
In other words, uh, it don't last forever...
like fame in Hollywood.
It lasts for only a second, if at all.
So don't friggin' worry about gettin' famous.
Get good at your job.
If fame comes along, so be it.
CAMERON: You're famous to me.
FLASH: That's because you don't know anybody else.
NURSE: Oh!
YOGA INSTRUCTOR ON TV: As you can see, we have...
MAN: Oh, come on, Speed. We're all trying to see that.
Move back please, Speed, so we can all see.
What?
MAN: Get out of the way.
- Hey! - Well, what's happening?
- Flash, I was dancing. - [Overlapping chatter]
FLASH: Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Shut up! Shut up!
I got something to tell you.
We're going on location.
It's time for my medication?
[Murmuring]
MAN 2: No, we're going on location.
- Oh, Speed. - Not yet, we're not rolling.
I just love location shooting!
The hotels, the parties, the fun, the dancing...
Slut.
Mrs. Erskine!
Oh, she's a tramp!
You silly old biddy.
Why, your chariot's so low, it's dragging the basement floor.
Get a life.
FLASH: Hey, hey, ladies...
Is that Animal Planet?
FLASH: Hey, hey ladies, relax.
Ladies... we're not exactly going on location...
- but we are going into production. - MAN: O.K.
MRS ERSKINE: Yeah, what's the rate?
What did he say?
That's great, that's hot.
[Whistling] Let him talk!
Well, I met a kid who needs our help with his student film.
- Hey, Flash! - Yeah, Montana.
What's he need?
He needs your help with wardrobe...
and, Rich, he needs your help with art direction.
Speed can help with sound.
- What? - You can do the sound.
Bernie here can give him a hand with props.
I'm retired. I got out of the rat race...
a long time ago, thank you.
Butch can help with camera, me with lighting...
- and Big John with grip. - You betcha.
Oh, boy, does he have the best crew in town.
Well, the oldest crew, anyway.
[Laughter]
The what?
And the only one with a deaf sound mixer.
- [Laughter] - Oh, I heard that.
Flash, I'm available.
Newsflash!
So, who's the kid?
CAMERON: We're just doing research. You'll be fine.
MICKEY: I don't know, Cameron.
It's cool. You'll be all right.
Eh, Flash said you were a pushy little so-and-so.
Don't be afraid, Mickey. It's only a computer.
It's real easy, O. K? Computers are really stupid.
They do exactly what you tell them to.
That's what I'm afraid of, what to tell them.
No problemo. Check it out, we can Google.
Google?
Yeah, a lot of bloggers Google.
Bloggers that Google.
Or they Dogpile.
Dogpile.
Dogpile or a Hotbot or Lycos, Linkslut...
Ask Jeeves, Web Crawler.
You can always Yahoo.
Yahoo... Tell me, son, when do we get to the easy part?
Those are just search engines here.
Let's just Google. Click on "search" right there...
and now, type in anything you want.
- Anything? - Yeah, anything.
Think of something.
Uh, fly fishing.
Type it in, "fly fishing."
[typing]
Yeah, now press "enter."
There it is.
- MICKEY: This is it? - CAMERON: Yeah, yeah...
I'll be a striped-ass baboon.
[laughs]
Hey, well, what about tractors?
I've always had a thing for tractors.
Tractors, type it in.
This is wonderful. [Laughs]
Here, check this out. Check this out.
Thank you very much for this, Cameron.
It's... Thank you. That's nice.
See, you haven't been forgotten, Mickey.
D... D-Did you look up Flash?
Yeah, I showed him his résumé and his credits.
What'd he say?
"Yeah, big f-bomb deal."
[Laughs] That sounds like Flash!
[Chuckles] And wait, Mick, go back to, go back to Google.
Click on search and type in "Nursing home neglect."
[Typing]
"Top 10 of 775,062 matches."
Yeah, try that... Try that first one.
Does that mean there are 775,061 others like this?
Yeah, it does.
Criminies.
MICKEY: "Nursing home neglect in the last year.
"Complaints in Texas are up 60%.
"Medication errors, understaffing...
"unsanitary conditions, substandard care...
"and injuries in an unsafe environment."
"The quality of care at thousands...
"of the nation's nursing homes...
"is poor or questionable at best."
How do you think they'd rate my place?
Sucky to very sucky.
I agree.
"Activists sue nursing home for fraud...
"and malnutrition in New York."
"Federal authorities move in to correct irregularities...
"in the Arkansas agency responsible...
"for nursing home oversight."
"Florida general attorney takes aim...
"at substandard nursing home care."
It's everywhere.
I think you turned over the wrong rock.
Or the right one.
Are you good with all the internet stuff, Mick?
Sure... it's a piece of cake.
See you at the production meeting tomorrow?
No problemo!
CAMERON: Peace!
[Crickets chirping]
Ah.
FLASH: Don't you have any place to be, for Christ's sake?
No, not really.
Home life that great, huh? [Laughs]
My stepdad is always on my ass all the time.
All the time?
Well, that's maybe 'cause you miss your real dad.
Yeah, I miss him.
But Floyd's still a dick.
Yeah, well, he's here, isn't he?
He's with your mom, right?
He brings home the bacon, right?
My mom works too.
Where's your real dad live?
Out there somewhere. I don't know.
Here, in L. A? And you never see him?
It's a big town.
He's out of sight, out of mind, right?
I saw Mickey today.
You what?
I told you to keep away from Mickey.
You'll break his goddamn heart!
CAMERON: Mickey was fine.
He was fine today. I know it.
You don't know shit!
No, I... I take that back.
You know just enough shit to be dangerous.
You're a mean drunk.
Fuckin' A!
Mean when I'm sober, mean all the time.
That's, that's how I like it.
I like being alone.
All right, well, don't let me get in the way.
Well, I'll die alone.
Lot of dry eyes at my funeral.
I heard that.
What?
CAMERON: I heard it!
I'm young, damn it!
CAMERON: so Mildred is passing out the packet...
with the script outline on it and schedule.
And it's a ten-minute short film.
You shootin' 35 or 16?
Uh, 24p and some 16 film.
MAN: Which lab?
Well, Flash and I haven't worked that out yet.
- Money, right? - Surprise, surprise.
You don't have it yet.
[Chuckles] Well, Flash and I will get it.
Are you kidding?
Whoa...
[Clattering, woman gasps]
Are you kiddin'?
Oh...
Who the hell in his right mind is ever gonna give us money...
for a stupid little film about old people?
Yeah, like someone gives a rat's ass.
MICKEY: Don't say that, Flash.
Oh, I'm sorry, Mickey.
Any news from New Hampshire?
I forgot how close you and your daughter have become...
over the last few years.
Hey, don't feel bad about Mickey...
because nobody gives a good goddamn...
about the rest of you pathetic jerks either.
Cameron does!
Cameron? [Laughs loudly]
Yeah.
No. He doesn't give a hoot and holler.
He only wants to sleaze his way into film school.
Shut up, Flash.
He's even more screwed up than we are.
He actually lives with his family...
and they still hardly speak to him.
He's just a tax deduction, an inconvenience, like us.
Next year, when you turn 18...
stepdaddy's gonna be number one.
[Claps] Troubled teenager...
out the door, just like your old man.
- Screw you, Flash. - Yeah, but don't worry, kid.
You can dump on your poor mother later...
when she's old and feeble.
You know, give her the old Chicago ride.
[Mimicking sound of train]
You know, one way, all the way to the nursing home.
Some stranger will look after her.
Hey, half-pint, that's right!
Keep walking, son, keep walking!
We've been betrayed by people better than you...
even people we've loved.
You know more than anyone what I'm talking about, Mickey.
Your daughter dumped you like a dog...
when she said, "I haven't got time for him."
But she had time for some drunk back east.
Oh, oh... we're all leaving.
Oh, O.K. We all got the Chicago ride.
Ah, you're nothing but a bunch of forgotten souls.
Go on! Get out of here, you has-beens, never-weres...
freaks, jerks, wankers. All of you are pissants!
[Clattering]
Nobody gives a Rottweiler's shit about you!
Oh...
[Breathing heavily]
[Sighs] Or me.
Dead people kind of creep me out.
I can't believe Flash turned on me like that.
Forget Flash, dude. He's a senile old bastard.
- GUARD: Over here! - MURPHY: Shit!
GUARD: You guys can't be in here.
Hey, what are you kids doing? Hey!
[?...]
[Sirens wailing]
? Santa Maria ?
? Why did you have to go? ?
[?...]
[Music fades]
[Loud thud]
Dude, we're gonna make it.
I know, but...
- MAN: Murphy White? - Yeah.
You made bail, you're out of here.
Oh, uh... can my friend come with me?
No, nobody came for him yet.
He'll be here all night.
Sorry, dude.
Uh, I'll call your mom.
Don't worry about it. She already knows.
GUARD: All right, gotta dress you down.
Put you with the rest of the guys, Kincaid.
You'll be arraigned on Monday. Let's go.
[Metal clanks]
[Metal thuds, echoes]
[Door scrapes]
[Slams]
[Clattering]
Rise and shine, my wannabe felons.
Breakfast in five minutes.
Who's Cameron Kincaid?
CAMERON: Yeah.
You made bail, you're gone.
I could get you the money.
Forget it.
Don't you want to finish the movie?
"Finish the movie."
We haven't even started filming the movie...
and with more bullshit like you pulled last night...
we never will!
Well, that was my fault.
Yeah, you're totally right. It was your fault.
It was your bad.
Yeah, I know, I know it was my b... bad.
It won't happen again.
I won't do it again.
I just got pissed off.
Pissed off about what?
- It's a long story. - I got all winter.
Look, I gotta eat a shitload of crow to get you your money.
A guy I haven't talked to for some 40 years, a guy I hate...
You hate everybody.
But this one's special vintage.
So why can't we get the money from somebody else?
We can't, not... not so quick, anyways.
O.K., Flash, you know that so many people are in...
on this thing now, that if you go off again...
it's not just me you'll be letting down.
You think I don't know that? Come on.
CAMERON: O.K., when we started this thing...
you made me make a promise to you.
Now you have to make a promise to me.
FLASH: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it, I do, yeah, yeah.
CAMERON: No more drinking.
No more drinking till we're wrapped.
The guy that pissed you off lives here?
Yup.
- What's his name? - Taylor Moss.
Taylor Moss?
Taylor "Three-Time Academy Award-Winning Producer" Moss?
FLASH: That's right.
CAMERON: Jesus.
What did Taylor Moss do to piss you off so bad?
- He screwed my wife. - What?
MOSS' BUTLER ON INTERCOM: May I help you, sir?
Yeah, we're here to see Taylor Moss.
BUTLER: Whom shall I say is calling?
Calling? We're not calling.
We're here, standing...
waiting... on you.
BUTLER: I do beg your pardon, sir.
Tell him it's Flash Madden.
Now, go get him. Show some huevos.
Pretentious prick, act like he got a butler.
[Gate rattles...]
Anyway, this guy Moss not only screws my wife...
she runs off with him.
What?
Broke my heart in a million pieces.
So where the hell is he?
I don't believe my eyes.
Well, if it ain't Pancho "Oy Vey" Gonzales.
Oh, I see those standup classes really paid off.
Up yours and happy Hanukkah.
This here is Cameron. He needs your help.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Moss.
Cameron.
CAMERON: So that's our story.
It's about $5,000 in hard costs.
She died a couple of years ago.
FLASH: I heard.
She was the greatest person I ever knew.
[Chuckling] Tell me something I don't know.
Uh, I can see that you really miss her.
MOSS: It was two years ago.
Seems like yesterday to me.
Cigar?
Eh, don't mind if I do.
[Spits]
Cameron?
Oh, no, thanks, sir. I'll watch and learn.
FLASH: Thanks for the cigar...
but don't confuse it with a calumet.
CAMERON: A what?
A peace pipe.
After forty years, no forgiveness, huh?
Forty-three.
Forgive you? Hey, screw you.
I'm sorry that your life has been so, uh...
joyless, so unhappy, so sad.
Well, yours is so fulfilled, right?
Don't confuse activity with achievement.
I've seen those pieces of shit, those celluloid abortions...
that you call movies.
Well, they weren't all stinkers.
Even won a couple of brass dolls.
Three of them.
The picture business has been good to me.
Oh, cut the bullshit.
That bullshit is the reason you're here.
Yeah, all right, yeah. You made your point.
So...
do we get the five large or not?
Sure, Flash.
For old times' sake.
Listen, I'm sorry I screwed up your life, Flash.
I didn't mean to get you into all this.
A man has to kill his own snakes.
You did me a solid today, Flash.
I owe you big time.
Yeah, well, we'll cash the check tomorrow...
and uh, don't you worry, kid.
We'll get this epic of yours on the road.
[Sleigh bells jingling...]
MILDRED: Two of hearts.
Ace of diamonds... a bullet!
And jack of clubs...
WOMAN ON TV: So this is Holiday Inn.
[Flash turns off TV]
Well, I...
I could say that I got buttered...
that Wild Turkey did most of the talking...
but you know, I, I...
I've been hiding behind that longer than I care to admit.
Surprise, surprise.
I'm real sorry about what I-I s...
About last night. I didn't mean what I said.
You're not forgotten souls.
You're not a bunch of pathetic jerks.
Just me.
MAN: So?
Does that kid still want us to make his movie or not?
Well, we raised a little money today...
and it looks like we're back on if-if... if you still wanna...
Yes, Montana?
What time is call?
Seven A.M., Monday morning.
- Then we're in. - Vin!
- Why the hell not?! - [All exclaim and applaud]
I think you lot are insane. All of you!
Oh, goddamn it, you... you folks are the best.
MILDRED: Goody goody!
[Tearfully] That kid is so lucky to have you on his team.
Ah, it's your team too, Flash.
I guess I'm lucky, too.
We're gonna make a movie!
All right!
[Applause]
[Flash sobs]
It's O.K. We love you, Flash.
CAMERON: Nursing home abuse and neglect has become...
widespread and a growing epidemic.
The last two to three years have seen an increase...
in litigations against nursing homes...
and rather sizeable verdicts across the country.
As the population of the United States gets older and older...
more and more people end up in nursing homes.
Moving a parent to a nursing home...
is one of life's most difficult decisions.
[Keyboard clicking]
MAN ON TV: L.L., here he is, 700 cubic inches...
- [Engine revs loudly] - of fuel-lnjected fury!
It's the Fred Payne entry, "Daddy-O", crushin' them buses.
In the near lane, we've got Nicky's Nitro supercharged...
small block, currently points leader on the circuit...
Bad breath! And I don't mean halitosis!
MAN 2 ON TV: Well, Brad, it's the giant against the giant killer!
Nick Thomas has knocked off more big block opponents...
this year than anyone else...
Thanks, honey. I really appreciate that.
I'm sorry for being a pain in the butt.
Um...
I mean, going to jail... and the fight.
Maybe you learned something this time.
Maybe I did.
I hope so.
You realize why we didn't bail you out, don't you?
Yeah, I know.
Is something else on your mind?
Mom, you know that...
that if anything ever happens to you, that...
if you get old or sick or something...
that I'll take care of you.
Honey, nothing's gonna happen to me.
I know, knock on wood, but...
if numb-nuts there ever... I'm sorry, Floyd...
if he ever dumps you, gets rid of you...
I'll take care of you.
After I kick his ass.
We'll both kick his ass.
I mean it, whatever happens to you...
that I'll take care of you.
I believe you.
We'll take care of each other.
[Rain patters, thunder rolls]
Don't tell me... let me guess!
I've reached an all-time low!
Right?
The film business is a cruel and shallow money trench...
a long plastic hallway...
where thieves and pimps run wild...
and good men die like dogs.
There's also a negative side.
That's... That's Hunter S. Thompson!
I miss him!
A couple of weeks ago, I was happily bored and miserable.
Then you came by with that kid...
and tantalized me with a little hope.
How dare you toy with my life!
Get out of here!
You are so sexy when you're mad.
[Thunder rolls]
Come on in!
Sin no more.
[Door creaks]
You're right about my daughter, though...
dumping me like a dog.
Ah, I was talkin' out of my ass.
- She didn't dump you. - The hell she didn't.
Time I realized it too.
You know, I oughta be more like you...
hate everybody and everything.
A lot of good it's done me.
Well, you see the deal better than most.
It's a front!
Flash, you think they really don't love us anymore?
Ah...
Sure they do.
But they got problems too, you know...
distractions and...
I really miss talking to my daughter.
Well, then maybe you should call her.
What the hell.
I think I will.
So...
I'm leaving.
So, we're good.
Huh? All is forgiven... and all?
I'll forgive you.
You're a better man than I am, Mickey.
Forgiveness was never my long suit.
Oh... I patched it up with Cameron...
and the gang at the home.
Been a busy apologizer, huh?
[Chuckling] So to speak.
Well, hope is alive, the film is back on...
and Cameron'll be over tomorrow to help you with the script.
Great. I like that kid.
All's right with the world!
[Door closes]
[Rain and thunder continue]
Hope her number's still the same.
[Phone beeping]
Hello? Honey?
Yeah, this is Daddy.
Yeah! [Laughs]
Yeah, I know it's been... I just wanted to call...
and see how you're doin', what...
Yeah... Oh, you gotta go out.
Well, yeah... [Laughs]
I just wanted to talk to you.
Yeah, I'll-I'll-I'll let you...
I'll call you another time, yeah.
[Chuckles] Bye-bye, honey.
[Phone beeps]
[Thunder rumbles...]
[Typewriter carriage clicks]
[Typewriter keys tapping...]
[Choir singing triumphantly]
[Carriage return dings]
FLASH: Sabotage is essential in warfare.
Brett Raven's ahead of you. We gotta slow him down.
CAMERON: Flash, are you sure about this?
Are we gonna do this or not?
You're clear.
Yeah... Well...
it's a myth that scripts are the lifeblood of Hollywood.
It's gasoline.
Whoops.
[Choir singing "Ode to Joy"]
TEENAGE BO Y: Check it out!
No more lifeblood.
- CAMERON: Oh, man. - MURPHY: Oh, no.
FLASH: Oh, shit!
[Explosion]
[Choir singing finale to Beethoven's 9th]
[Orchestra plays triumphant finale to Beethoven's 9th]
[General conversations...]
[Radio plays music...]
Hey.
Hey, Cam!
Whoa, it looks like an extreme makeover or something...
going on out there.
Yeah, they started to spruce the place up...
when they heard about our little project.
Wonder how they found out about that?
- Well, I'm proud of this. - Yeah? Me too.
? Ta-taah ?
[Typewriter roll zips]
- It's finished? - For now.
You don't write in this business.
You re-write.
We have a screenplay.
This is great.
It's great dialogue.
You're the man, Mick.
Thanks.
The man for what?
You know. You're the man!
Anyway, it's not the dialogue...
it's the subtext I'm concerned about.
The unspoken calendar of tensions, feelings, inner events.
That's what matters to me.
Sounds cool.
Yeah, thanks. Let's go make a movie, huh?
Money!
[?...]
[Whooshing]
[?...]
[Music fades]
And that's a wrap.
- We're done! - MURPHY: Yeah!
CAMERON: That's a wrap!
I can't believe we did it!
FLASH: No, you did it, kid!
Get out of here. We all did it.
Want a cigar?
Dumb question.
Time to burn some more of Castro's crops, huh?
Call it national pride, amigo.
Oh, my God.
You don't keep the cigars in your underwear drawer!
It's the best humidor around.
I can imagine where the humidity comes from.
Yeah, my point exactly.
CAMERON: You sure you're all right, Flash?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a little tired, that's all.
My last film was in 1968.
[Chuckling] Money, dude!
What the hell does that mean, huh? "Money"?
I dunno, uh, money!
I don't know! [Chuckling]
- I'm gonna go to the lab. - CAMERON: All right.
That clears it up.
Yeah, I'm out of here, right behind you.
[Coughing] Me too.
Wait, my mom will give you guys a ride home.
MICKEY: You sure she doesn't mind?
We don't wanna be any trouble.
We'll take the ride.
[lmitating Flash] We'll take the ride.
Thanks, kid.
CAMERON: I'll go get her.
Next shot's in a glass.
Go ahead, Flash. You deserve it.
Don't mind if I do.
I don't know, the edit's looking really good.
[Distant train whistle]
It could work. We might have a chance.
Are you kidding? It rocks.
But something's missing.
You're wack, dude.
What the hell is Flash doing?
Oh, this can't be good.
- Flash! - [Flash grunts incoherently]
CAMERON: Be careful!
He means don't get caught!
[Laughing drunkenly]
We did it, boys!
We made a movie!
You promised not to drink.
Only... till we wrapped.
MURPHY: What are you doing?
FLASH: I'm doin' the right thing!
What are you talking about?
FLASH: I'm not gonna leave without 'em!
BOTH: Without who?
[Puppies barking]
[Dogs barking]
Definitely not good.
[Whooshing]
Hey, roll on this.
All right, you got it.
- This looks familiar, right? - I'm feelin' you, dude.
Dogs and humans, there's no difference.
[Gate rattles]
Flash, what the hell...
[Dogs barking...]
CAMERON: What the hell you doing?
I'm settin' 'em free.
What the hell do you think I'm doing?
MURPHY: Shit, Cameron. We can't get busted again.
CAMERON: Murph's right, Flash. We can't...
Murph's a coward just like that son of a bitch, Nietzsche!
Hey! Go on then!
[Puppies barking]
FLASH: Oh! Hey!
Let my people go!
Run, doggies!
CAMERON: Run where, Flash, where?
- Hey, I know a place. - Where?
- Get the truck! - CAMERON: Flash, we can't!
- MURPHY: No, no way. - You're pussies!
- I'll get it myself. - Flash, this is not cool!
This is grand theft auto, O. K?
And I know a little something about it...
and I won't do it again!
I am not leavin' without those dogs!
I mean, they're gonna kill 'em!
Don't you care?
Flash, of course I care.
After all I've done for you...
you can't do this one small thing for me?
This one small felony.
FLASH: Yeah, I know a dog park in Boyle Heights.
Yeah, at least dumping dogs in a dog park...
is only a misdemeanor.
Who goes to dog parks?
Dog owners, dog lovers, people who give a shit.
CAMERON: Yeah, but they already have dogs.
That's why they go there.
And it's midnight.
No one's even gonna be there right now anyway.
FLASH: Yeah, I know that, but in the morning...
when the dog lovers show up, hey, who knows?
The dogs may get lucky and...
Dog people are crazy.
They're nuts! When they get together...
it's worse than an A.A. meeting.
But the bottom line is they love dogs...
more than life itself, and that's perfect for us.
And our seventeen friends.
See, Flash?
Eh, they don't mean it.
Open it up.
[Dogs whimpering and barking]
Ain't that a pretty sight.
I have to admit, they are a happy bunch.
Right, but animal control'll come and pick 'em up tomorrow.
At least they have tonight.
CAMERON: Come on, let's get out of here...
before human control comes and picks us up.
[Dogs barking faintly]
CHOIR: ? Silent night ?
? Holy night... ?
Leaders are born.
Leaders are made.
To be a leader, all you need is followers.
Have you ever heard the term "natural-born leader"?
Why do you have to argue about everything that I say?
He's not arguing, Floyd.
He's topping. He's a topper.
You know, whatever you say, he tops. It's a kid thing.
That's horseshit.
Cameron, please.
Sorry, Mom.
Kids are trying to find their voice.
You know, they want to be heard, they want to be respected.
It's easy to respect back when they respect us.
FLASH: It's one thing to, uh, demand respect.
It's another to command respect.
[Chuckles] Am I right, Floyd?
Is he right, Floyd?
Yeah, right.
This was the best Christmas turkey...
I have eaten since before I started...
eating strained prunes on an irregular basis.
Thank you, Flash. It was my pleasure.
It was great, Mom.
Well, it deserves a toast, let me tell you.
O.K.
Hey, come on, Floyd.
You don't have to be a dick every day of your life.
Good God, Flash.
[Laughs] Easy, easy, Flash.
Eh, I'm just messing with him. Right, Floyd?
You and me, we understand each other, right?
Yeah, I think we do.
I'll get coffee and dessert.
[Choir singing carols]
Do you have to work at being an asshole...
or does it come naturally?
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
Because it comes real natural for me.
Your point is?
Point is, pal...
that being an asshole every day of your life...
is a dead-end for loneliness.
One day, you're gonna wake up...
and find there's no one else left to be mean to.
And on that day... hey, hey, hey, you die.
What crap.
I've been meaner than a snake to most people I know.
But now that I'm at the end of my game...
there are precious few left.
My ass bleeds for you.
Yeah, felt good for you to say that, didn't it?
As a matter of fact, it did.
Yeah, I know.
I used to take great pleasure in doing shit like that.
- I was a master at it. - Fascinating.
Listen to me, you dim-witted mud hook.
I'm trying to tell you something...
something important...
and you choose to crack wise.
Now, trust me, if you want your ears boxed...
I'll gladly oblige.
I know I may be getting on in years...
but I could still knock you off the porch.
You get my meaning, simpleton?
Now lay off Cameron. He's good people.
He doesn't like me... and I don't like him.
Well, I don't like you either, but I love that boy.
I'm happy for you. [Chuckles]
You don't get it, do you?
You don't see his worth, do you?
But mark my words...
that boy'll make you proud...
if you just give him a chance.
Huh?
Ah, come on.
[Choir singing faintly]
FLASH: Hey, Cameron...
we were just listing your shortcomings.
I know, I gotta do better.
FLASH: Oh... my God.
Mother Kincaid...
what a culinary wizard you turned out to be.
- Well, she's the best, right? - She is.
Thank you, honey.
Here, Floyd. Here you go.
Thank you.
So how's your movie coming?
Huh?
Oh...
It's good. We're editing now.
I'd like to see it.
Yeah, as soon as it's done.
JUD Y: I can't wait.
- Flash is the man. - Ah.
I could not have done it without this man here.
And the entire west wing of the Motion Picture Residence.
[Applauding]
Hey, the toast then, huh?
Let me think, let me think.
Even though we may fall into misfortune...
um, still let us remember...
what it was once like here when we were all together...
united by a good and kind feeling...
when we were perhaps better than we are.
Um...
Yeah, that's, that's it.
[Choir singing, glasses clinking]
See how Hitchcock only shoots in singles in this scene?
We never see Barbara Bel Geddes...
or James Stewart in the same shot.
We never feel we're, we're watching from the outside.
We're involved. We're in the scene.
It's like the actors are talking to us.
I wake up at night seeing that man fall from the roof...
and I try to reach out to him...
[?...]
CAMERON ON FILM: Everywhere I went...
I found wheelchairs facing the windows...
This is great, Cameron.
- This is really great. - Thanks.
CAMERON ON FILM: Now they are forgotten in cages...
left to die, alone.
MOSS: That's not the take I wanted.
Yeah, I, um, I stuck with this take because I thought...
Put the take in that I wanted, O. K?
I know what I'm doing.
CAMERON: You see how we're...
- pulling back and it flows... - [Telephone ringing]
Just make the tweaks I asked for...
and it'll be ready to be submitted.
MICKEY: Today is the day. Uh, in by 5:00...
- no exceptions. - No problemo.
JUD Y: Hello? Yeah, this is she.
Cameron... it's Flash.
Oh, good. I need to talk to him.
No...
Honey, it's about Flash.
WOMAN ON P. A: Dr. Miller to radiology.
[No dialogue]
[Whooshing]
Cameron...
[Woman talking over P.A.]
I'll check on Mickey.
Thanks.
The man in the chair.
Hey, Flash.
Cameron Kincaid...
cool director.
Money.
How'd the rough cut go?
Rough.
[Sniffles] Very rough.
Yeah, you stick to your guns, kid.
Don't let that prick Moss get you down.
Yeah, they call it... "creative differences."
Yeah, you're creative, and he's different.
Flash, Flash...
[Cameron sniffles]
I know, kid.
I know.
Before I go, I want to thank you for being a friend.
You're my last and...
best friend.
Hey...
you opened my eyes about life.
You did, you know?
Oh, I always dreaded this moment.
I thought I would be cold and...
Ionely and... oh, Jesus, I was so scared.
But I'm O.K. now.
I'm warm.
I'm not alone...
'cause I'm with my friend.
[Sighs]
[Sobbing]
I'll never forget you, Flash.
ANNOUNCER: The scholarship winner...
for the best student short film is...
Brett Raven from Chatsworth High School...
in Chatsworth, California.
[?...]
CAMERON: Brett Raven won the scholarship.
Not a big deal.
This is my film school.
I learned more in a month than he will in a lifetime.
And Flash was right.
Nietzsche was full of shit most of the time.
There are no expendable masses in the world.
Every person matters.
What we do, who we are can affect a generation.
It's not the strength...
but the duration of great sentiments...
that makes great men.
Nietzsche got that one right.